Hmmmm...

Today was another doctor's appointment. This time it was with Oia's neurologist (who we think very highly of).

I'll start by saying that Dr. T was so impressed to see Oia moving as well as she is and she even walked on her own into his office. He was pleased to see her using her right hand to help hold her sippy cup once she was prompted to use both hands with a verbal reminder. Dr. T said developmental progress is an outward positive of what's happening on the inside, ie. her brain activity. He asked us some basic questions...Is she eating well? Yes. Does she sleep well? Yes. Talking any? Not really, she's very vocal but not verbal. And then with some hesitation in his voice, he asked if we have observed any seizure-like activity yet. By the grace the God the answer was no. He is absolutely baffled by this. All of Oia's conditions, or brain abnormalities by medical definition align with seizures. Around 95% of kids like Oia have seizures on a regular basis and require medication. I knew her risks were high but I never realized it was that high. It makes my stomach flutter to think of this changing in just the blink of an eye. It could. It could all be very different tomorrow and seizures could be a part of our world at any moment which terrifies me. But my 2 yr. old teacher has taught me to live for today and be thankful and so that is what I will continue to do.

Dr. T reviewed Oia's charts again and MRI information and then declared something we never expected. Since diagnosis in April of '08, we were told and believed that Oia's cerebral palsy was secondary to a stroke in utero. As of today, that is not believed to be the case. For the last year, Dr. T has been digging deeper into Oia's files to study her situation and he believes with nearly 100% certainty that Oia did not have a stroke at all. She has schizencephaly (which we knew), not caused by a stroke but rather as a result of a faulty migration pattern of some brain cells to their final position in the brain. This disruption happens in just the very early days of fetal development. Why it happened is a mystery.

This is not really better news or worse news, just parallel news in our opinions. I will tell you though for me, as the one who carried this baby for 9 months, this news lifted what would have been a lifetime of guilt off of my chest. So, in a sense, maybe this was good news for me. I can't control the fact that Oia's brain cells migrated incorrectly but I felt guilt that she had a stroke. Thoughts of exercising too hard, working too hard, stress, etc. consumed me. I carry (carried) a lot of guilt and blame for the challenges that Oia faces. We sing the praises of a compassionate doctor who has not stopped following and studying Oia to determine the true root of her disabilities.

We determined today that unless something changes, there is no need to schedule another EEG at this time. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.