Girl: Why are her eyes so kooky?
Oia: (smiling and oblivious to the question and the choice of word "kooky"; reaches out to hold Girl's hand)
Me: Well, I think her eyes are fine. She just has to wear glasses to help her see better.
Girl: Can she really see?
Me: Of course she can. Do you know of anyone in your family who has to wear glasses to help them see better?
Girl: (in deep thought, eyes staring up as she thinks for a minute)
Me: You know, maybe your mom or dad, or grandma or grandpa?
Girl: Um, well, my mom and dad don't wear glasses but I think my grandpa does.
Me: Well, there you go! Oia is just like your grandpa then!
Girl: (satisfied with my answer, smiles and skips away)
Another girl later in the day runs waving by Oia and I. I smile, wave back, and say "hi". After she passes us, she has what seems to be a second thought, then turns around to inform me that "She's drooling" as she points to Oia. I assured her it was okay and that I knew of it and then mentioned to the girl that sometimes that happens. She, too, was satisfied with my answer and continued bounding about.
These are harmless incidents, all coming from very innocent places within these children. I begin to feel the sting, though, when I think about the day that Oia will not only hear these words but understand them too. What will the day be like when I'm not there, holding her hand, as I answer these questions for her? Will she be able to speak up and make a respectable stand for herself? Will they bother her like they sometimes bother me? Oh, I can't even think about it...
But then, there are those who have the power to erase all sad thoughts that fester after these random tests of strength, like the elderly man I noticed staring at Oia in the post office this afternoon. Here we go again, I thought.
"She has a precious smile", he says.
"Oh, thank you. Thank you for noticing. I think she does, too."
Oh Mo! We MUST be long lost sisters! We really HAVE to meet one day! I have had some of those exact same days! And I know Faith and Oia are both little angels of God's hand cut from the same cloth! Everytime I hear your stories and see her sweet little face I think how much she and Faith are alike! Btw we are planning a trip to visit my mom in the next few wks.
ReplyDeleteThis made my heart hurt. I feel the same pain some days. Sometimes I don't even look at people when I know they are staring because I just don't have the energy.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it enough just to get through the day without insensitive commentary from folks who feel compelled to vocalize them? I just hope the positive comments out weigh the negative ones. You have a beautiful family and I really admire your strength.
ReplyDeleteoh gosh, we had a similar incident last night in Target. It has put me in quite a funk along with some other things. Thank you for your honesty and making me feel not quite so alone today.
ReplyDeleteStay strong Mo. You are educating those kids through their questions, helping them to understand we are all different in different ways. Oia is developing her patience, calm demeanor and happiness from your example. And she does have a beautiful smile :)
ReplyDeleteOia smile is SO precious!
ReplyDeleteHI MO...
ReplyDeleteOH, BOY! I KNOW THE FEELING ALL TOO WELL.. I HAVE "NEVER" BEEN TAUGHT HOW TO DEAL WITH SUCH RUDE COMMENTS..
IT WAS ABOUT 7 OR 8 YEARS AGO NOW THAT I WAS VOLUNTERING AND THIS BOY ABOUT 8 SEES ME GOING INTO THE OFFICE TO DO SOME PHOTO COPYING AND HE HAS THE NERVE TO SAY "ARE YOU RETARTED" I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I DID NOT RESPOND.. I COME BACK OUT AND AGAIN HE SAYS "ARE YOU RETARTED" I FELT LIKE JUST NAILING HIM INSTEAD I WENT BACK TO THE CLASS TOLD THE TEACHER AND THEN HE WENT BACK TO WHERE THE BOY WAS AND EXPLAINED IT TO HIM IN A WAY THAT MADE SENSE..
DON'T GET ME WRONG MO I HAVE NO PROBLEM GIVING AN AGE APPROIATE ANSWER IF "THEY ASK A QUESTION"
I WAS VOLUNTERRING JUST LAST YEAR DIFFERENET SCHOOL AND I WAS ON THE PLAYGROUND AND THIS KID ABOUT 6 SAYS "WHY DO YOU WALK LIKE THAT" NOW, I RESPONDED TO THIS QUESTION BECAUSE SHE ASKED NICELY.. I JUST SAID THAT MY LEGS ARE NOT VERY STRONG AND SHE ACCEPTED THAT ANSWER..
AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SCHOOL YEAR THE TEACHER AND I TOLD THE STUDENTS THAT I HAD CP AND THE TEACHWE EXPLAINED IT TO THEM(BECAUSE I WAS A NERVOUS WRECK) THEY WE TOLD TO BE AWRE OF ME AND NOT TO RUN AT ME BECAUSE I COULD FALL... THIS HAS WORKED ATHOUGH SOMETIMES THEY FORGOT AND WE HAVE TO REMIND THEM BECAUSE I HAVE COME CLOSE TO FALLING IN THE CLASS.. SORRY FOR THE LONG WINDED COMMENT MO
MELISSA
I personally like her glasses :-) :-) I have CP too, and there were people (mostly kids) that questioned and it never used to get to me, but sometimes w/ oblivious adults it would.. Kids are really innocent and curious by nature though. Im sure she'll answer those ?'s just fine when the time comes.
ReplyDeleteOia is a strong little girl, and she'll be an even stronger woman. I can see her educating people just because she wants to, and being happy about the questions.
ReplyDeleteI'd be very surprised if the positive comments didn't outweigh the negative ones. She's such a little angel!
I don't get as many comments as a lot of you, because Hannah's clothes often hide her braces and because she only walks with a small limp, but parents ask me what's up. I feel I've come a long way for Hannah that I don't always cry when I explain she had a stroke. she is doing very well, she is as smart as they are (maybe smarter).
ReplyDeleteBut it hursts inside and when I think of her having to answer I feel actual pain in my guts.
I love you guys.