Family Trip to Myrtle Beach

Our family is still smiling from a 7 day stay in Myrtle Beach, made possible by the Hampton family who graciously allowed us to stay in their ocean front condo. Unfortunately though, they could not join us this summer for a shared vacation and we missed them, no doubt. Instead, my parents and sister made the venture with us. The girls were excited.

Our week was peaceful. We stayed on the beach "all day" as Esme would tell you. Our only goals were to soak up every last ray of sunshine that we could possibly stand and collectively find 100 shark teeth by weeks end. We were successful on both accounts. Our tooth search quickly grew into an obsession and now we have 200 shark teeth that we have no idea what to do with. And Esme, that girl, found one of the tiniest teeth of all 200. All by herself. She's amazing.

Oia was one with the ocean the entire week. The wide open space of the beach provided our girl the freedom to run, roam, and do whatever her heart desired along the shore. The beach suits her busy soul well. She was constantly moving, digging, filling/carrying/dumping buckets, stomping and splashing, or making friends. She was in her own world and blissful to be there. Watching her just be, as she pleased to be, was delightful to witness. Many beach-goers, young and old, stopped to play with her and/or comment on how joyful she was to watch. Precious was a word we heard a lot. And because of her, we met a lot of new and friendly faces.

Esme, on the other hand, took to the ocean with a bit more caution. She's not particularly a fan of sand and she was ready to call it a day if she fell victim to an unexpected splash or wave. Each day however, she grew more brave and tolerant and was willing to stay on the beach for longer periods of time. Our beautiful beach baby collected a lot of awwww's herself.

Each day of vacation came with its own highlights - some being when two varieties of starfish washed to shore (one of which I found and returned), hermit crabs that found us before we found them, a tiny shark that was spotted among us, unbroken shells that were plentiful, and the low tide each afternoon that offered up the perfect sand bar.

We also did the touristy thing and visited the local aquarium. I knew Esme would love seeing the aquatic life but from past experiences with Oia, I wasn't so sure how she would do. I believe her poor vision and ADHD combined with the thick, often blurred, glass-walled tanks makes it hard for her to truly see and appreciate the exhibits. To her eye, the lights and reflections within dim spaces like these seem to be more of a distraction and a processing overload than anything else. Beautiful to our eyes, visual clutter to hers. Oia was most engaged (and fearless) when allowed to reach in and touch the sharks and horseshoe crabs from an open tank. She's just a hands-on girl. Can't say I blame her.

And a highlight for Rob and I was an evening out (sans kiddos) to Murrell's Inlet. We dined on sushi and local seafood while sipping adult beverages and conversing little. We act like fish out of water, or at least it feels that way, when the girls aren't with us but the break, if only just for dinner, is nice. We returned to the Inlet later in the week with the rest of the family because a sign this fabulous just couldn't go to waste. There was no leaving SC without a picture of my sister girls under it. Crazy and all, I just love 'em.

And of course, one with my sister too... because she really is the crazy one.

Crazy sister of mine twisted my arm a bit and convinced me to parasail with her. My father joined us. Let's say that it was eventful in all the wrong ways, for me at least. Tiny boats and high swells don't play nice with me. Apparently, I'm a land lover in my old age. I toughed it out and sailed anyways although it wasn't pretty... because what other choice did I have? By the time I reached that god-awful point of seasickness, land was just a speck on the horizon. Lucky me. But consider memories made, seasick and all. I already put a big ol' fat check in the box next to PARASAIL though because I won't ever be doing that again. Nope, no siree.

Overall, our week together was lovely and little girl smiles were priceless. We all got a much needed break from reality and there's no better place to do that than where salt water meets land. Sand and sun are just good for the soul. Family time is an added bonus. And we are thankful for the week that was full of all three.

Summer Camp

It's always important for me to keep Oia involved in purposeful and preferably educational activities while maintaining some sort of a routine during summer break. Her behavior is far better under structure than it is with idle time. She's not the kid that begs to watch TV, or thinks to do much on her own, or even engages in independent play. Oia is less of a leader and more of a follower and a helper. And that's okay... but I'm not going to lie. Filling summer days to keep her mind busy and productive is challenging on so many levels.

Enter summer camp here. An area preschool was recommended to me for possibly being a good fit for Oia. By good fit, I mean one that would welcome Oia and her challenges because they had done so before. The preschool plans themed weeks all summer long where campers have a choice of attending half days, extended days, or full days. I called the preschool to discuss how camp was set up, explained a bit about Oia, and then set up a time to tour the facility before making my decision to send her. My impression of the preschool and staff was a good one. The director was very thorough and asked a lot of questions regarding Oia. We both decided that there was no reason why Oia wouldn't love a week of camp. But, we also both agreed that she couldn't safely attend alone. Swimming, changing clothes, outside play time on very unlevel and root covered ground all requires a great deal of assistance to Oia.

Now, enter a camp shadow, aka Oia's Aunt B. Aunt B was planning a week to visit from Ohio and so we coordinated her visit to be the same week as Oia's camp. Thankfully, the camp director was supportive of the idea to send Oia with her own shadow. And quite frankly, I think she felt a sense of relief as well. My sister is no stranger to shadowing and helping kids with multiple needs so knowing she would be alongside Oia while I was not, was complete peace for my Momma heart.

Aunt B and Oia attended one week of summer camp together from 830a - 1245p. The theme was Rainbows, Volcanos and Bubbles. The week provided several hands-on experiments or demonstrations and according to B, Oia was intrigued by it all. Very attentive. Sat criss cross and listened. Was quiet. Was polite. Was everything I hoped she would be. Only one camper questioned why Oia had braces on her feet and after B briefly explained the need for those braces, the teacher intervened and asked all the kids to gather around Oia while B put them on her (it was after swimming) so in the event that Oia should ever need help with her braces, each camper would be familiar with how to better help. A lovely, teachable moment.

Just one other time did a little girl question why Oia spoke differently than she. B said something along the lines of "That's just how God made her talk" and with that the girl nonchalantly replied, "Yea, God loves everybody". Difference accepted.

And, as Oia often will do, she did take a tumble in the classroom once. Stumbled on her own feet, fell forward, hitting her forehead on a wooden bench. Of course, she screamed. So to not be a disruption to the class, B began to take Oia out into the hall to comfort and calm her down. Once again, teacher intervened. She stated that her class knows how to take care of their friends when one of their own gets hurt. And just as she said that, one fellow camper came running with a cup of water and another with a wet paper towel. All for Oia. And I love that. Another lesson on compassion. Amen.

Oia made friends. Friends chose to sit next to her at lunch, to play with her in the pool, and to play Duck, Duck, Goose during outside play. Oia came home tired but smiling. She had a little spring in her step all week. That translates to all things good. The week was successful and fulfilling and we have Aunt B to thank for that. She is a gem. And she gave up a lot to be here for Oia. Thanks B, we love you. You made Oia an extra happy camper.

Same Girl, Different Glasses

I don't know what you see here, but I see a girl who has shed nearly all the baby she has ever had and exposed is the oh so tiny face of a beautiful, young, and still growing, big girl. A slight prescription change gave us the excuse to try an entirely different frame; something I said I wanted to do before Oia started Kindergarten. New chapters call for new looks and I think that's just what we got. Purple. It's becoming her new color.

Moving On

It's been a little over a week now since Oia finished up her last day of preschool. That last day of preschool felt no different to me than her very first day of preschool, just 3 years ago.

The fear, hesitation, anxiety, excitement, and pride were all present once again. A true case of the first day jitters but on the very last day.

Fear. Fortunately, Oia has had the same preschool teacher and classroom assistant for all three of her PK years. These ladies know her as well as a teacher and assistant can know a student. And she knows them. There is a safety net that eliminates some, but not all of, the daily hesitation in handing off your handicapped child when the face is familiar and trusted because she has worked with and looked after your child since Day 1. But fear, because the last day of preschool means that the last day inside that comfort zone, which took 3 years to build, has arrived and only bigger and harder things are waiting around the corner. Kindergarten.

Hesitation. We kept Oia in preschool an extra year. By age, she could have entered Kindergarten last year and I had to make a *small* stand to state my case as to why my globally delayed child needed the additional support that one more year of preschool would provide. It's proven to be the right decision, as I knew it would be. Oia has grown in many wonderful ways over the last year but is she fully prepared, on all levels, for Kindergarten? She is not. Enter hesitation here. But she does carry with her her stylish bag full of personal bests, wears an infectious smile, and walks alongside two parents who lovingly push, unconditionally support, and fiercely advocate for her 100% of the way.

Anxiety. Stepping out of that cushy box that we were snug and warm inside of for the last 3 years leaves a lot of room for anxiety. A lot. Inside that cozy little box, labeled Special Education, lived a handful of kids, Oia's 6 classmates, who all in one way or another faced a challenge. Or many of them. The environment inside that box was safe and understanding of challenges and diversity. Each face was a friend. It's a hard and scary box to step out of. The social levels of Kindergarten rise and become complex, as does the academic expectations, and "special education" has a way of becoming more obvious to those kiddos who didn't first begin there. Will kids understand Oia? Will they be patient with her? Include her? Worry about her? Help her or laugh at her? Will she be bullied in any way? How would I even know if she can't tell me? The unknowns of Kindergarten flip my insides upside down. Up. Side. Down.

Excitement and Pride. We are moving forward, ready or not, because that is the only direction of progress. Oia is continual progress. Slow but always steady. She will grow outside of that Special Education box we stepped from a little over a week ago and she will, I know she will, continue to amaze us with all the gains she continues to stash inside her expanding bag of personal bests. Slung over her shoulder, no matter how heavy, this child will demand to carry it all by herself, while smiling, and greeting everyone within ears reach with the cheeriest and most direct Hey! you've ever heard. Because that's Oia.

So come August, many prayers will be said for a safe, peaceful, and productive school year. For many reasons, Rob and I believe in Inclusion and we demanded this be Oia's placement for next year, which is the complete opposite of her 3 years in self contained preschool. She will be in the same public elementary school, different hall. She will receive 30 minutes of special ed literacy instruction and 30 minutes of special ed math instruction per day, all in the general ed classroom. It is agreed that the classroom Oia is assigned to next year will also be assigned an assistant whose primary focus is Oia's needs, whatever those shall be at any given time. However, the assistant is not Oia's 1:1 as he/she may help all students of the classroom but Oia is the primary. It's official. The 27 page IEP has been signed. I'm entering this next chapter with a whole lotta' faith...

And fear, hesitation, anxiety, excitement, and pride.

A Bit of May

May is one of my favorite months. Having my birthday and Mother's Day all in the same month makes for a lot to look forward to. Both are now behind me. 36 feels pretty darn good and being a Mommy is my ultimate joy and always will be.



April showers have done a wonderful job of showering into May. Like the rest of the east coast, we have been under raindrops far more often than under the sunshine. This kinda' chilly, wet spring weather has had me on a mission to get my girls into their own pair of rain boots.



And the Laurie Berkner song titled "BOOTS" just happens to land on the Teaster girl's Top 10 which only means these kiddos needed some. I pulled through. And the rain has continued to fall which is making us very happy. Splashing in the rain and mud is good for the soul.



And speaking of good for the soul... There is nothing quite like the very moment of the evening when both girls are in their beds and the final nighty-night is exchanged. Both bathed, sleepy, cuddly, tucked in and especially sweet. Naturally, I always tell Oia I love her at bedtime. She usually returns a sleepy "ok" in reply. She can't independently say "I love you" yet. I settle for whatever reply she can give me because world-class huggers don't need words to confirm their love and because I know that one day she will be able to say "I love you too, Mommy". Esme is the last one I say love you to each evening, as the baby in her needs my shoulder just a little bit longer than her sister does. Just three nights ago, I gently lowered our sleepy Esme down into her crib, told her I'd see her in the morning just as soon as she woke, then turned to walk out of the room while whispering I love you, Esme... and with one more step towards the door I faintly heard "lub you" from inside that tiny, white crib. I froze for a moment to not only internalize the words but more so the feeling they gave. "I love you, too", I whispered one more time. Mommy's need I love you's and my very first one is now filed into memory forever. These tiny and soft-spoken words are just as good for the soul, if not better than, a good pair of rain boots. Oia will tell me she loves me too one day, just as soon as she can. I know she will.



Also this month, we ventured on a weekend away to the Sharpe's in North Carolina. We so enjoy relaxing with these dear friends on their rural slice of Heaven, which offers a nice and much needed break from the tight neighborhood we live. Cows were tagged and fed, Ms. Emily the donkey was loved on, tractors were rode, fish were caught, and we all had our fair share of cow poo under our feet. Pure country bliss. Thank you Jason, Suzanne, and Sawyer for your love and southern hospitality that we can never get enough of.




And to close, next week is the end of another chapter for Oia. Just 4 days of her 3 PK years left. I'm ready for us all to move on to new and fresher things, whether we are ready or not. Currently, her IEP for Kindergarten is still incomplete and under "negotiation". It's a nitpick of wording at this point to ensure that verbal commitments from the school are documented properly and carried through with. I'll save the topic and details for when this loop is finally closed. IEP talk is draining anyways...

Have a blessed Memorial Day weekend, everyone.

I'm Calling This a Post

I'm trying. I'm trying to share with you several things but nothing is making sense. I've just sat at this computer for way too long now and deleted each new attempt at making a worthy post. A post about how the adjustment phase post cast is taking a temporary toll on Oia's mobility. Or a post about how Oia's IEP team, including us, can't seem to make it to the same page concerning her Kindergarten placement. After 2 long meetings, we are still "negotiating". I wish this process didn't have to be so heavy or taxing on my heart, but it is. I'll save the details for another day... Tonight, I'd rather just take the easy route and fill all this white space with not words, but with some of my most recent and favorite photos of the very two girls who make my world go 'round...

Watching Esme's mind at work is nothing short of amazing. She's a pretender.


And a snuggler...



And she dresses up for life almost every day.




This beautiful individual continues to grow in many lovely ways...



and those unexpected lessons that she likes to deliver just keep on a'comin'.




She, too, is every bit of amazing.

Cast is Gone!

The cast is off and has been for 4 days now. But it left its mark. A nasty pressure sore to be exact, which explains why Day 6 and 7 of the two week casting period Oia was reluctant to walk and when she did she limped and often cried out. School even resorted to a wheechair on Day 7. The night time hours were the worst these two days. We followed doctor's orders though... to push on and see if the pain, or whatever the problem was, subsided. Which it did. Oia was walking with ease again by Day 8. The set back was a mystery for the remainder of the two weeks until the moment the back half of her cast was removed. The bloody heel inside the cast revealed a pressure sore on a fairly bright reddish-purple heel. Damn. Poor thing. Note to self for the next time when I won't be following doctor's orders.

The doctor said the tissue began to die at the site of the sore which created a hole in the blister's center. The area was dressed with a medicated bandage for a couple days after and it looks better with each passing day. The good news is that she doesn't seem bothered by it and the two weeks in the cast did what it was intended to do. Doctor said the stretch was more that he expected it would be, which is a pleasant surprise. Her stretched calf allows her to bring her heel closer to the ground (less high on toes) and as you can imagine, walking less high on ones toes has a positive impact on stability. We are hoping this nice stretch lasts for a long while. Oia seems happy about it, or maybe she's just happy the "boot" is off, but I'd like to think this stretch feels better for her. Despite the nasty sore, I'm filing this good stretch under "Success". I'm so thankful for these tiny interventions that keep our girl movin'.