a blog about raising a daughter with cerebral palsy and learning unexpected lessons along the way

Friday, September 2, 2011

A New Experience

The Littlest Teaster, our beautiful Esme', is 6 weeks new. Already. And for the first time in my life, I'm understanding what it means to have time fly. I'm awestruck by this new baby of ours that looks at me and then holds onto my very presence with an effortless stare. She locks into my eyes with hers because she can. She sees me, her mommy. It's a foreign interaction to me from a newborn. Esme' can hold me, and speak to me, with her eyes alone. Only a mother can understand.


My sweet, newborn Oia tried hard to do this very same thing. Over and over again. But could not. She looked over me, behind me, just past me. Often, her eyes drifted in different directions. Still, I loved her so. Perhaps this is why the intentional gazes from Esme' leave me without words. I sit, absorb the moments, and marvel at what a beautiful and natural connection, or bond, this is for a mother and her child.


I'll add this deep appreciation of such a bonding experience to the ever-growing list of unexpected lessons taught by my greatest teacher. Oia, the special little girl who made me a mommy, continues to point out to me each and every day, the finer details of this life. Without her, the priceless details as subtle as simply making eye contact, would slide right by me.



Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility. ~Kate Douglas Wiggin

6 comments:

  1. Beautiful. This made me cry. I'm due with my second in just two months, and I often wonder how it will make me feel if things come easily to the new baby that Sammie B has had to work so hard for. . . focusing her eyes, movement, etc. Will seeing them come so easily to the new baby make me sad for Sammie B? Mad at the universe? Relieved? I love your perspective. Without the special little girl that Oia is (and Sammie B) the "ease" with which milestones come for our second daughters MIGHT slide right by us, taken for granted, unnoticed. What beautiful little teachers Oia & Sammie B are.

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  2. Your beautiful and insightful words made me cry too! Esmé is so beautiful. And Oia is such an amazing teacher whose smile at the top of thismpage makes me feel so happy eveytime I see it! Lots of hugs to you and your girls!

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  3. I love this post. It is so exactly true.
    And those pictures of Esme, are beautiful. She looks just like a doll in that last one!

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  4. First - what a lovely post, Mo! That just made me feel so warm and happy, and reminded me so much of all the million little rushes of motherhood feelings I get from my daughters. I'll probably have to go sneak in and kiss a sleeping girl now! If someone wakes up, I am blaming you!!

    Second - You and Rob certainly make beautiful children.

    Third - I feel a very strong urge to knit someone thing soft to wrap that baby in. It is not likely to happen, but I sure wish it would.

    Finally - I love how you delight in all the joy that Oia brings you in all the unexpected ways. You are a lovely Mama!

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  5. HI MO
    ESMA IS ONE BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL.. SO GORGEOUS... SHE LOOKS SO HAPPY AND OIA IS ALWAYS CHANGING AND LEARNING NEW THINGS.. BOTH BEAUTIFUL LITTLE ONES

    MELISSA

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  6. Your words here and the photos of Esme are so beautiful. I'm glad that you are experiencing this with your baby and are truly appreciating it (in ways that not all mothers would). All because you have one of the best teachers in the world. :)

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