a blog about raising a daughter with cerebral palsy and learning unexpected lessons along the way

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Good with the Bad

I threw the milestones and growth charts out the window as soon as I realized that none of them pertained to us. I made up my mind that as long as Oia grew, along her own curve, that I'd be happy with that. I also made up my mind that as long as she gained strength and progressed in global development, in some form, no matter the rate, that I'd be happy with that too.

In the beginning, it was her smile and even a laugh. Those giggles and smiles were huge to Rob and I and let us know that someone was really 'in there'.

Today, she's two. She has come a very long way. And, I'm tickled to share that she had her very first public 'meltdown' yesterday and it made my heart smile. I had to look at the elderly man who was entertained by Oia's behavior, smile at him and say, 'Behold, she's 2!" It felt good. I've waited a long time for that to happen and no, I'm not crazy. She's 'in there' and she has a lot to say but she just can't verbally get it out.

She has had some mild meltdowns recently but only while at home. She's easily crushed now by being told 'No!' or when we take something away from her that she shouldn't have. She'll come to her knees and lay her head on the floor and start to cry. The whole 'meltdown' only lasts a few seconds or at least until we can redirect her focus onto something else. These meltdowns or tantrums, no matter the severity, have the power to make most parents cringe, sweat, yell, drink, and even cuss on occasion. But for me, I smile, I nod my head and think, "That's my girl!" I love it. THAT'S WHAT 2 YEAR OLDS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO! We have an opinionated little girl on our hands who is beginning to enter the "Terrible Two's" stage. We've hit a typical milestone, for the very first time, and it feels so dang good. So normal.

I can take the bad with the good, or is it the good with the bad? Whatever it is, I'm embracing it, calling it a blessing and will savor every last moment of every 'meltdown' that is bounced my way.

And I won't even cuss.


  1. What a beautiful girl Oia is! Her smile is so contangious! We threw out the milestone charts LONG ago as well! I love your writing and so glad you left a comment on kidz so I could "meet" you. Please let me know if you'd like to share Oia's story on kidz.

  2. No need for those charts...these kids create their own, in their own way, in their own time...trying to teach their mommy that.

    Nothing better when you get a glimpse of the two year old things. Our little guy, totally nonverbal, who is 2, screamed and screamed two nights ago, to when we were starting to think something was wrong. Oh no, he was screaming because he did not want to go to bed and wanted to be held. He was trying to tell us with his two year old tantrum.

    Although your little girl provided some good girl two year old drama with being on her knees and head to the floor!